Sharing her Everyday Living and Inspiring us today is Doofan Hiikyaa. She wears many hats; wife to the love of her life and best friend Orgem, stay at home mom to two adorable little girls ages 7 and 3, sister, friend, alongside her growing profession which you’d read about in a bit. Doofan loves music, books, journaling, travelling, and pretty shoes. She is an unashamed Christian. Let’s hear from the proverbial horse’s mouth.
I Live In…
Abidjan, Côte d’Ivoire. We’ve been here for the past 5 years. The opportunity to learn to speak and write French has been the highlight of my experience here. We’re looking forward to a new adventure which includes learning to speak German as we move to our new location soon.
I am…
A Pastor, Marriage Counsellor, Writer and Author. I pastor alongside my husband, we’ve pioneered two branches of our parent church in the past 7 years. As a Marriage Counsellor, I’ve officially worked counselling married couples and conducting premarital classes since 2018.
My day begins with…
What I have on my to-do list which I usually write before bed the previous day. I won’t call myself very organized but I try. Anyway, that list helps me do my work as a wife, mom, pastor and marriage counsellor more effectively. For example, on a school day, I would wake up earlier than usual so I have enough prayer time and prep time to get the girls ready for school in good time.
After drop off, I get back to my home office (a little corner in my spacious bedroom with a table and chair). PS When I build my dream house, I’ll definitely factor in a home office that doubles as a library with walls covered with books. I’ll just be happy looking at my books even if I don’t get to read them all.
Work for me is…
Writing, reading, preparing courses, and even praying, making and receiving calls, over-the-phone counseling sessions, and on few occasions I’ve had to go over to families that need my attention. I allocate a specific amount of time for every task for the day and try to keep to it. There’s of course break time to check on or be checked up on by my husband (it’s our unwritten ritual which we both think is romantic). I nap for an hour every afternoon while our maid watches the children, oh so refreshing that religious one hour siesta!
As my work day unwinds…
It’s time to pick the girls up from school. I start preparing dinner between 4pm and 5pm to be ready just in time for my husband’s arrival. We have dinner together every evening at 6pm, it’s a family tradition. I love that we can unwind and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal together even though I recently discovered cooking seems more like a chore to me. I just do it in loving sacrificial service to my family (don’t judge me), and the fact that they think I’m the best chef ever! What can I say.
What I enjoy most about my work is…
Oh I love everything about it! It’s been such an honour working with individuals and couples to bring help, healing, wholeness and fresh enthusiasm to marriages and homes. Leading many to have and enjoy a successful and happy marriage in the bond of covenant gives me a deep sense of fulfilment. I absolutely love my work, I see it as a ministry but I’m thankful I found a way to bless lives, enjoy myself and make some money at the same time. As a pastor, nurturing young believers until we see crystal clear growth and transformation in their lives is priceless, this I do not for monetary reward. No man pays like God, He never uses and dumps a man or woman yielded in service to Him and others. I count it the highest honour after being married to my husband.
The challenging part is…
Getting emotionally attached to people’s problems. Some nights I find it hard to sleep when there’s a couple whose marriage may come to a sad end if things don’t go right. I feel responsible but I remind myself that I didn’t call myself, God did, so I trust him for the right words for every uniquely troubled relationship. There have been good and not so good results, but I like to focus on the good, it gives me hope.
To unwind, I…
Watch movies every weekend with my husband, have sing-along sessions with our girls, read a good book, just lay on my back and meditate with calm music in the background, or do nothing!
If I were to choose between work-life balance or work-life integration…
Hmmm it’s complicated when you’re working at home, but I believe everything that’s important in my life should be properly prioritized, nothing and no one should suffer neglect. My relationship with God comes first then my husband, my children, my ministry/work. When I was writing my book Marriage Dipped in Blood, my husband suffered the most! It felt as though I was cheating on him with my book writing project. Lol! But we talked it through. I can’t ignore wife duties, the Marriage counsellor must practice what she preaches, right? We may not be able to balance work and family life but we could come to a compromise…sort of, so I’d say I believe in work-life integration.
If someone were looking to start a career in my field, my advice would be…
Make sure your motive is love for the people and let God’s Word be the basis for whatever you teach or whatever advice you give don’t let your emotions get in the way. Be as discrete as possible, you must never use anyone’s story as an example without their permission, relationship matters can be very sensitive. Finally, live what you teach and preach, the life you live is the loudest message you could ever proclaim.
Bonus question; Go skydiving or eat raw fish?
Sky diving definitely. I’m not adventurous with food.
Thanks for sharing, Doofan!
Doofan considers herself a loyal friend. In her words, ‘If we connect in any way, you can count on having me in your life for a long time, relationships are my greatest assets-priceless!’ You can connect with her here
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